Hunger Games

I know, my posts seem to all be about books these days. But as I read I seem to see things from a different perspective than I ever have before. Now I read things through the eyes of a mother. The eyes of someone who longs for her children to grow up healthy and happy.

Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins was an amazing story. Although it was intended for teenagers I very much enjoyed the plot of the book and look forward to reading the second book. But all the way through the book I continuously thought of how I would feel if one of my children was in the shoes of the main characters.

Let me give you a bit of background without giving away anything from the book. Basically the book revolves around a futuristic society in which all teenagers are required to enter their names in a lottery that would require them to be a participant in the Capitol's Hunger Games. The Hunger Games are a combination of different ideas taken from history but basically the teenagers are thrown into a complex arena and forced to fight one another to death with very little supplies.

The entire time I was reading the book I kept thinking about how much my heart would break to see my own child suffer. To see either one of them not have adequate food to eat. To see them have to fend for themselves at such a young age. I would hate to see them turn to hatred in an effort simply to survive. To do anything to keep themselves afloat.

I would like to pretend that this is simply a world that Ms. Collins made up. But I know that isn't true. Yes, she came up with an original idea but that idea was spun from a variety of realities. Take the gladiators of ancient Rome, for example. While we think of it as entertainment, as did those in the audience, to the actual gladiators it was torture. It was a matter of life or death.

There are also a lot of people who's children are literally starving in this world. Mom's who are unable to provide even the most basic of necessities. There are children who are raising children because their parents died of one disease or another, most likely from AIDS.

It breaks my heart that this is going on in the world and that we live in a society that seems to forget it. We complain and say we are starving if we haven't eaten in 4-5 hours. If we go most of a day without food we act as if it is a major crisis. We say that we are dying of thirst if we haven't had something to drink in awhile. We complain if the public bathrooms are dirty when we are lucky that we even have bathrooms.

We are so spoiled! The list continues and continues on the ways that our country is spoiled. I'm not saying that we need to get rid of everything and live a life of poverty. I couldn't even do that. But I do think that it is important to remember how spoiled we are. To remember all of the benefits that are we given and take for granted.

My hope is that I can pass on an appreciation for everything that we have to my children. I hope to teach them to help those who are less fortunate, both down the street (so often we forget that there are extremely poor people in the United States as well), and in other parts of the world. May they never go hungry and know that this is a blessing. May they never go thirsty and know that they are lucky. May they appreciate the fact that they have parents, healthy parents (Lord willing), and many other family members and friends, who are there for them in all their needs. May they live a full and happy life, a life full of Christ. A life in which, whatever they do, they do whole-heartedly for the Lord.

That is my hope and prayer. May they never have to know a world like that in Hunger Games. I do not ask that they not have troubles. Troubles are important for growth. But I pray that they are troubles that can be overcome.

Ultimately none of it is in my hands. So I must let it go and just trust that God will watch over my children. I look forward to the journey and to seeing who my children blossom into.

Vanishing Act

"When you are pregnant, you can think of nothing but having your own body to yourself again; yet after giving birth you realize that the biggest part of you is now somehow external, subject to all sorts of dangers and disappearance, so you spend the rest of your life trying to figure out how to keep her close enough for comfort. That's the strange thing about being a mother: Until you have a baby, you don't even realize how much you were missing one."


Vanishing Act by Jodi Picoult


So after reading a cheesy, albeit fun, teenage sci fi book I am back to Jodi Picoult. There is something about her writing that just draws me in. I think I am going to try to read all of her books (which shouldn't bee too hard since there are only 18 currently).

I just started "Vanishing Act" and I haven't gotten very far. (I'm on page 21.) But I loved the quote above. I think that it sums up how motherhood feels in a way that I never could have put into words.

Its funny how often I have a hard time believing that Sherwood is actually mine. I have spent so many years taking care of other people's children. I have loved every single one of them, even the ones that drove me crazy. I have cherished every moment with my nieces and nephews. The love I feel for them is extensive. But nothing prepared me for the love that I would feel for my own child.

There are nights when he is asleep when I can't help but sneak into the bedroom and place my hand on that little tummy of his. I want to feel the comfort of his breathing and to just have some physical contact with this creature my husband and I were blessed to take care of.

Other times I sneak onto my iphoto and stare at the pictures of him. I know its silly because he is just in the other room. But there is a comfort about looking at those moments captured in time. He will never again be as old as he is right now. I will never get these moments back. So its important to enjoy every second of them.

There are days, like yesterday and today, where he is so fussy that it is hard to remember the blessing that he really is. I am so grateful that someone put into words the way that I feel about my little one. She said it better than I ever could and expressed the way I truly feel, even in the mist of the trials. Once again I am reminded that I am blessed.

Blessed

I won't deny that there are days (moments) when I forget how blessed I am. But I am truly blessed to be Sherwood's mommy and Aaron's wife. I was reminded of this today when I caught a bit of a show on TLC about ectopic pregnancies.

The show caught my attention because the title was "Pregnant for 46 years." It was about a woman who had an ectopic pregnancy that stayed in her body for 46 years! The baby did not survive, sadly, but it is a miracle that the woman did survive. So often with ectopic pregnancies the woman's body rejects the fetus and it can often kill both the mom and the baby if not treated right away.

As I was watching the show I was once again grateful for my little munchkin who was laying on the couch next to me and talking away. How amazing that I was able to carry such a healthy little boy and that he is able to share his life with me!

Tongue Tie

Today we went up to the DuPont Children's Hospital in Wilmington to have Sherwood looked at by an ENT. We had already visited one here in Dover, but he was not very nice or helpful. All he really did was make Sherwood scream.

Dr. Barth was excellent. We talked to him briefly about how much Sherwood has struggled with eating and how he had troubles with breastfeeding. He took a look at his tongue and saw that it was indeed tied. He suggested that we go ahead and cut it so that Sherwood would be less miserable. We had already decided that if that was what he suggested we would go ahead and have it done.

The procedure is pretty simple. They strapped him down, clipped his tongue and then made a cut where the tie was (they did give him some lidicane to numb it). He bled a little but after eating it was gone. Instead of taking an hour to an hour and a half to eat his five ounces he had downed four of them in 20 minutes! And that was with tears!

I couldn't be in the room though. Aaron was in there and with him but I just couldn't see them attack my baby. It broke my heart when I heard him screaming in the other room. I never thought I would be so weak when it came to my baby's cries. Its not like when someone else's baby cries. When its my baby, all I want to do is stop whatever is bothering him in anyway possible. Not that I don't want to comfort other people's kids. I do. But its so different with my own child. With mine it hurts my heart in a way that is inexplicable.

Anyway, he's been able to eat much more easily. He was able to keep his pacifier in (although I am not sure if he is going to end up liking them or not). He is also able to stick his tongue out much better. That seemed to fascinate him. I'm hoping this makes a great improvement. Or at least makes midnight feedings take less time so I can get more sleep...